How To Soften Natural Hair In 2 Easy Steps

How To Soften Your Child's Natural Hair

“Oh no! Mummy is coming again, with her army of combs and hair products. My poor head. The pain will start. I’ll start crying. My head will start aching…This my hair is too hard”, Grace murmured to herself.

While your child may not be called Grace and you may not know what’s running through her mind, this is what she probably feels when it’s time to do her hair.

Or maybe it’s not your child and you dread combing your hair because it’s too “hard”
If you can relate and you know someone who has been looking for the secret to help soften natural hair, keep reading because you’ve come to the right place.

So back to the ultimate question, “How Do I Soften Natural Hair?” Is it all a matter of luck and the card you were dealt? Or is there a hack you’ve been missing?

There are so many remedies, mixtures, tactics that people try all day long to make natural hair softer but it really comes down to just 2 things:

Detangle and Moisturize

The more you moisturize natural hair, the softer it becomes.

The more you detangle natural hair, the softer it becomes.

Sounds too simple to be true but it really is that straightforward.

Let’s discuss these 2 things in more detail.


This is the process of removing tangles and knots from the hair.

Detangling is something that should be done routinely on wash day.

It can be done before or after shampooing the hair.

If you or your child has fuller or longer hair, detangling should be done before


The shampooing process gets the hair knotted and messy.

So, if the hair is already detangled before shampooing, the detangling process after washing is greatly reduced and it saves you a lot of time.

For detangling, there are 2 main rules:

  1. Don’t detangle dry hair.
  2. Always detangle in sections.

Now, let’s go into the things you’ll need for detangling.

What You Need For Detangling

  • Spray bottle with water
  • Clips for sectioning
  • Wide-toothed comb or detangling brush
  • Detangling conditioner or oil

How To Detangle

  • Spray enough water to soak the hair completely.
  • Section hair into halves or quarters.
  • Apply your favourite oil or detangling conditioner all over the hair
  • Section the hair into smaller sections to make it easier to work with.
  • If necessary add more water and conditioner (or oil) to make sure it’s saturated.
  • Next, finger-detangle: Using your fingers, from the tip, separate the hair into smaller sections. This will help to remove large knots.
  • Then use a wide-toothed comb (or detangle brush) to go through each hair section. Start at the tips, then move downwards to the scalp.
  • When each section is thoroughly detangled, with the comb passing through easily, put that section into a two-strand twist.

If you follow these steps and do this consistently, your natural hair will get softer and you’ll be a happier you and not dread “hair day” so much..

So, on to the next thing that will help make your natural hair softer.


When you moisturize hair consistently, it becomes softer. This is a known fact.

So, adding a daily moisture routine for your hair is a good way to soften it.

With a Daily Moisture Routine, the main focus is not on detangling. The focus is to add moisture to the hair and stretch the hair out as best as you can.

After doing this, then, you can detangle if you need to, or you deal with detangling on wash day.

With moisturizing, the main rule is: Be gentle.

So, use your hands and fingers, rather than combs.

Using combs will make the process more stressful for you and painful for you.

How Do You Moisturize?

  1. Use a spray bottle to add moisture to hair by spraying hair all over.
  2. Spray enough water to truly moisturize the hair. This is because when the hair is moisturized, it’s easier to manipulate.
  3. Separate hair into sections and apply a moisturizer of your choice to each section.
  4. Use your hands and fingers to pull at hair and stretch it out.
  5. Brush and smooth hair out and style.

And that’s the process of moisturizing.

Then, you can go straight to styling without the need for combing or detangling.

However, if you do feel the need to detangle, simply incorporate the detangle steps into the moisturizing steps.


With detangling and moisturizing, you have the key to getting your natural hair softer.

It’s that easy.

It’s important to remember that it’s not about the products you use (although, the right products play a role in keeping your child’s hair healthy) but about consistently doing these 2 things: Detangling & Moisturizing.

And one more thing you’ll need: Patience.

Be patient and take your time while doing your hair.

Hope this helps in handling thick & natural hair.

Let’s know how it works for you in the comments below.

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